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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough", by Brené Brown
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Review
“Brown offers insights and strategies for understanding shame and overcoming its power over women… An interesting look at a debilitating emotion that stunts the potential of too many women.”—Booklist“Brown is clearly passionate and knowledgeable about her subject and has a smooth writing style.”—Library Journal“Shame is a profoundly debilitating emotion. It drives our fears of not being good enough. We can learn to feel shame about anything that is real about us --- our shape, our accent, our financial situation, our wrinkles, our size, our illness, or how we spend our day. I Thought It Was Just Me is an urgent and compelling invitation to examine our struggles with shame and to learn valuable tools to become our best, most authentic selves. Grounded in exceptional scholarship and filled with inspiring stories, this is one of those rare books that has the potential to turn lives around.”—Harriet Lerner, Ph.D. author of The Dance of Anger“Brené Brown has written an insightful and informative study of a subject that leaves many women feeling trapped and powerless. Her analysis of how women are often caught in shame, is in itself liberating, and her thoughtful suggestions will help readers continue to free themselves from emotional debilitation in ways they may not even realize are possible. I Thought It Was Just Me can be a doorway to freedom and self-esteem for many, many readers.”—Martha Beck, Ph.D., columnist, O, The Oprah Magazine, and author of Finding Your Own Northstar"Brené Brown’s ability to explore shame and resilience with humor, vulnerability and honesty is both uplifting and liberating. If we want to change our lives, our relationships or even the world, we must start by understanding and overcoming the shame that keeps us silent. This important and hopeful book offers a bold new perspective on the power of telling our stories." —Professor Jody Williams, 1997 Nobel Peace Prize Recipient; Campaign Ambassador, International Campaign to Ban Landmines"This is an important and inspiring book that offers understanding and validation to the painful feelings that come with the beliefs that we are not good enough or we should be different than who we are. Brené Brown walks us on a path that releases the shackles of inadequacy and leads us to embracing our authentic selves."—Claudia Black, Ph.D. author of It Will Never Happen To Me
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About the Author
Dr. Brené Brown, PhD, LMSW, is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation-Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past sixteen years studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of three #1 New York Times bestsellers – The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and Rising Strong. Her latest book, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and The Courage to Stand Alone, will be released Fall 2017. Brené’s TED talk, "The Power of Vulnerability," is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 30 million views. In addition to her research and writing, Brené is the Founder and CEO of BRAVE LEADERS INC - an organization that brings evidence-based courage building programs to teams, leaders, entrepreneurs, change makers, and culture shifters. Brené lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve, and their children, Ellen and Charlie.
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Product details
Paperback: 336 pages
Publisher: Avery; 1 edition (December 27, 2007)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1592403352
ISBN-13: 978-1592403356
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.7 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.6 out of 5 stars
780 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#1,214 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
With over 700 reviews, why add one more? Because I think it is important to know that although the book is good, it has many, many anecdotes for mothers. If you aren't a mother, you may not identify much with the stories of shame. It took more over a week to read, and during that time, I kept finding myself in situations where I thought, "here I go again, shaming myself for not being perfect!" I thought that her book was poignant for me. However, I could have read and absorbed the book in 3 days if the references to motherhood had been deleted. I recommend Lucinda Bassett if you would like to learn more about shame and self-defeating thoughts. Ms. Bassett does write some anecdotes about her children and motherhood, but her message has wider appeal for women.
I've been intrigued with Brené Brown's work since I listened to her Ted Talk on Vulnerability. I finally got around to starting to read her books. I expected I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough" to be a reiteration of all the things I've heard her say in her talks and classes and in her interviews. It was that but it was also more. In fact, it was more than I expected or perhaps was ready for. I sat down intending to simply read the book and ended up deciding to take her advice and work through the exercises. I didn't always like the answers that arose for me, but it was worth the time it took. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) pushed me to examine my thoughts and my attitudes toward shame and blame and vulnerability and strength. I started the book thinking that I'd already done this work, so this would just be me learning more about the topic. Brown breaks down shame and connection in ways that make her points highly relatable and highly relevant. As a writer, I found Brown's research also provides insight into writing characters who are mired in shame and those who aren't. I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) is a book based on research but written for every human, but particularly women and girls, who have ever been shamed into silence or into roles they didn't want to live.
This was the most influential of all her books, for me. I loved it. I think Brown's book's are best read in the order of Daring Greatly, I Thought It Was Just Me, and Rising Strong. Then, if you need the daily motivation and basic summary, The Gifts of Imperfection.
I wasn't ready to commit to opening up to a therapist, yet I really needed help. This changed my whole life, 5 years ago now. I had so much buried shame and it was choking me. So so so incredibly thankful for her research and the outlet it gave me. I can breath again, and I continue to make progress. I also learned how to set boundaries and be extremely comfortable with them. I didn't realize how much it cost me to never have had them- around my person, my family, my schedule, my heart. I think about B.I.G nearly every day of my life (boundaries Integrity Generosity)
I have cultivated shame my whole life, hiding and lying about the parts of myself I thought would repulse other people. I never understood what I was doing until I read Brene Brown's book in 2012. Being kind to myself and more genuine is still a work in progress but I have come a long way.This book is an essential read for anyone on the journey towards self-acceptance. I would recommend reading it in tandem with Byron Katie's book "I need your love, is that true?". With Brene Brown's book, you learn about the mechanics of shame, what your triggers are and how you behave when you have shame around certain issues. With Byron Katie's book, you learn to question the assumptions that drive your behavior (e.g. 'I need people's love and approval', 'I need to know that I am not alone', 'I need to know that other people have experienced similar feelings', 'if people know x about me, they will never love me'.)People are afraid to talk about dark emotions like shame, but I promise you, not doing this work is a million times harder. Speaking from my personal experience, self-exploration, with the help of authors like Brene Brown, has made me into a more peaceful person towards myself and towards other people.
I adore and respect Dr. Brown's research. However, I can't help but believe that she somehow is on a roll of redundancy. It reminds me other writers who over publish...Malcolm Gladwell, Wayne Dwyer, Deepak Chopra. If you've read one of their books you've read the most of their work.
I am 61 years old and carried shame through my whole life. I recently was able to realize the physical traits that occur when I am in shame. It was very, very powerful. With that realization the wanting to fight over the issue turned easily into empathy. I am amazed. I can only hope to have the experience again. I think it could be life changing for me.
Everyone should read this book. Understanding shame and how it effects everyone at so many levels has been eye opening. Learning how to be resilient to shame and learning how to speak about shame has been very impactful. I have also come to understand how to be more empathetic towards others and what it really means empathize, really listening and feeling the many emotions shame brings.
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